Long Beach Artists: Find, Rate, or Review Artists in Long Beach, ready to hire. Trained Long Beach Artists are on call, ready to create for you a masterpiece. They can paint, sculpt, mime, or paint. Long Beach Artists can be commissioned to do anything, from a portrait of you, to a sculpture of you.Long Beach artists are poor. I mean, really poor. Unless you live in a specific area of San Francisco, or Fremont, no one is going to pay a Long Beach artist anything for anything. Did you know Greek word for “artist” is “kallitechnis”, which literally translates to “worthless individual, who is good for nothing other than putting paint on canvas”? Seriously. You can look it up.
To be fair, Long Beach artists are good at what they do. Except for those “abstract” artists. None of them wanted to be abstract artists to begin with, but then they tried to paint or sculpt like a normal person and failed miserably. They showed their friends what they just drew and they responded with “What the hell is that?” And out of self-preservation, they responded “It’s abstract. Can’t you tell?” Then there was some nervous laughter.
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Long Beach Artists